In order to stop doing and relinquish the things you hate or dislike about yourself, you have to love it FIRST. You cannot release anything you have not made peace with. No matter what you have done it think you can’t shake YOU MUST LOVE IT and stop judgement. What there is to learn has nothing to do with judgement. One day you’ll have stopped the toxicity because it no longer serves purpose. Until then it actually does serve purpose in association for what you are learning about yourself—from which after the challenge can leave. But you can’t learn much, nor fast with judgement and self-hatred. Waste of time! The only good thing about the negative feeling is that it’s guiding you to knowledge that you are “off” and the belief is not quite correct.
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…experiences to assign purpose and meaning to—don’t allow your own created definitions destroy you, though, AND DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF ABOUT THIS. This is the nature of all 3D (and even higher levels — albeit with more balance and peace, BUT STILL DRAMA). Why would you beat yourself over something that’s completely natural? However, granted, this all can feel heavily convoluted to the point where we doubt we’ll ever get passed anything far enough to get to some ascension point. There’s one simple (but not necessarily easy) remedy to that. You just have to learn to calm down and relax (meditation). Keep working on that!